I have always wanted to write. I have, actually, for years. But I don't think the adolescent ramblings of a tween or the documentation tendencies of a young adult count. I've recently reread them. So I can tell you, they don't. Now I need a place to be free. Unfettered. As I figure out this new space and place in my life. Business owner. Mother. Daughter. Sister. Friend. And now reconciled wife.


Grab a cup, sit on the comfy couch and chat with me.

Recent Posts


Should be called "Momma Rest"! I'm gonna Oprah these for every new mom, moms with kids that don't sleep, moms with kids who wake up too early or, you know, any person who likes sleep. xoxo


What I Know for Sure.

It's not a long list. Don't get comfortable. 1. You get back from the world what you put into it. Be intentional. I witnessed three days of a #loveboomerang (I call intellectual property on that) at a wedding this past weekend. The dividends of their kindness and love were rolling in and it was a good reminder/lesson. 2. Give compliments freely. They always brighten someone's day. Because...kindness. It's always good. 3. Ask for help. People want to but don't know how to or what you need. Tell them. It's good for both of you. 4. No is a complete sentence. Add "thank you" if it feels too brief. But you don't need an explanation or caveat. No. Done. 5. Yes is also a complete sentence. Add "let

Pack it up. Pack it in.

This past weekend we went to a wedding. Three of us were in the wedding. The two boys were the ring bearers and I was a bridesmaid. Parley had no official role but has just entered Stranger Danger and there was a moment where I thought she would end up being my bouquet. She was during the rehearsal so the worry was real. It didn't end up happening but being am who I am, I did bring a dress that complimented mine. If she was going to sneak into wedding pictures she was at least going to look like she belonged. Packing for a wedding when you are part of the bridal party is the most stressful kind of packing. Sorta. One on hand you want to bring everything that might be needed. For anyone. On t

True story.

Friend: How are things going? V: They're going. We are happy and figuring out our new normal. Working my blog and Stella & Dot for my emotional, mental and financial health. We're good. House is calmer and happier and brighter. It is hard. So hard. But good. Friend: Over a year now? V: Yah. I can't believe it. Not all days are better but, mostly, yes. I think the darkest is over and we are starting to see the sun. He? Maybe not so much. Foolish friend: Yeah. He didn't really think this through. But, you knew, right? Even though you didn't have proof, you knew it was happening and stayed? V: ?? Fool: Like it was happening for a while, right? And you knew it but didn't want to? So you didn't l

Laughing 'Til it Hurts!

If you have Netflix, I suggest you add all of Iliza's specials to your watchlist. Netflix recommend her specials to me. And it was a spot on rec. Thank you, Netflix. Clearly we are now in a relationship. I think it's going well. Squeeeeee. I have watched each of the specials many times. I laugh each and every time. Listen, they're not perfect. No comedian is. But, holy heck, she is funny. Watch her. You can thank me later. She has, for sure, gotten me through some of the dark times. Laughter is the best medicine. Also, there are a couple of places where she looks so much like Debra Messing I did a double take. Wait for it.

This. To my soul.

She's the sharp side of beautiful. She's a story teller of scars. She's a galaxy giving birth to stars. ♡ ♡ ♡ I have never heard my scars and chaos and survival described so beautifully. Today, on a day when it was desperately needed, these words and my reflection in them, gave me peace. And you lot know about my giving birth to stars.

I failed. I think. Maybe. It's a little unclear to me.

It takes two to be in a marriage. At least in my marriage. I know some people are cool with more. But this girl? It's two. And we had three. The circumstances around which ultimately ended the marriage. But still, I have this feeling that I failed. That I became a statistic. One of the 50% that fail. Though those aren't great odds anyway. But I feel like I failed. Like I wasn't wife enough or mother enough or partner enough. I wasn't enough of a friend, caregiver, partner, house manager, lover, etc. to make it work. To make him stay. So I failed. Yes. No. Maybe? In the end I probably take too much responsibility for the divorce. (I know I do. My friends have made that VERY clear. Very.). I t

You lied, you dog you. And you'll be sorry!

This is a line from a song from one of my favorite movies: Pillow Talk with Doris Day and Rock Hudson. If you haven't seen it. Do. You won't regret it. I have a problem with lying. It stems way, way, waaaaaaaaay back from my childhood and is something I do not tolerate. I don't handle it well and I don't respect those who do it. I am not talking about little white lies: No, your hair looks great or Yes, those shoes are awesome. I mean the lies that are meant to shield some uncomfortable truth and in doing so cause harm. I include lies of omission in this. We have some lying happening in the House of KB. Totally age-appropriate and something we are working through. We talk about the value of

A Letter to Her

I wrote a letter to her. Well, it was a text. And I sent it as a group text to both of them. Because I wanted him to see it, too. Partly for him to know what was said. Texts can be so easily edited. Partly so he knew I was serious and done. In every way. Let's begin, shall we. "It's Vanessa and I have some things to say. I held off in deference to [Wasband's name] as he had, multiple times, told me he had ended your relationship and that there was no need for me to take care of it. But I deserve a moment because I am not a silent mystery in this situation. Any more anyway. I know you're only part of the cause. And partly a symptom. But he was married. And in marital therapy. Which is why he