HOUSE OF KB

I have always wanted to write. I have, actually, for years. But I don't think the adolescent ramblings of a tween or the documentation tendencies of a young adult count. I've recently reread them. So I can tell you, they don't. Now I need a place to be free. Unfettered. As I figure out this new space and place in my life. Business owner. Mother. Daughter. Sister. Friend. And now reconciled wife.

 

Grab a cup, sit on the comfy couch and chat with me.

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Should be called "Momma Rest"! I'm gonna Oprah these for every new mom, moms with kids that don't sleep, moms with kids who wake up too early or, you know, any person who likes sleep. xoxo

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The Mirror.

You have to blame the mistress. Your anger has to be directed to the other thing and not your partner. Whether the other thing is booze or gambling or porn or xyz. The blame and anger has to be directed at the other. If not, you have to look to yourself. You have to look in the mirror. And I don't mean the mirror that smooths your skin, takes off 10 lbs and only gets you from your best angle. I mean the mirror in the dressing room with the crappy lighting. The one that magnifies all your shortcomings and insecurities as you try on bathing suits after your body has not seen sun for 5 months. That mirror. And nobody, nobody, wants to look in that mirror.

Well, I wasn't wrong.

"This was my dream. My wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back." Mouth, Goonies. This isn't how I thought it would be. This isn't how it was supposed to be. But this is how it is. So I'm taking myself back. The parts that I shushed. The parts I made small. The parts I tucked away to serve us and not me. Not realizing that doing that didn't serve us at all. There were discussions. Talk of options. But to stay a family of 4, we needed to be 100%. I wasn't. And when I heard the heartbeat, it was decided for me. I knew that I was likely choosing between a 3rd baby and my marriage. I wasn't wrong. I also didn't make the wrong choice.

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