I have always wanted to write. I have, actually, for years. But I don't think the adolescent ramblings of a tween or the documentation tendencies of a young adult count. I've recently reread them. So I can tell you, they don't. Now I need a place to be free. Unfettered. As I figure out this new space and place in my life. Business owner. Mother. Daughter. Sister. Friend. And now reconciled wife.


Grab a cup, sit on the comfy couch and chat with me.

Recent Posts


Should be called "Momma Rest"! I'm gonna Oprah these for every new mom, moms with kids that don't sleep, moms with kids who wake up too early or, you know, any person who likes sleep. xoxo


Hi ho. Hi ho. It's off to school they go! I will cry AND dance. And I am not alone.

Tomorrow is the day!! I am sending my two older kids to all day school and I am on a roller coaster ride of emotions because of it. Let's ride it together, shall we? Buckle up. I have cried every year I sent the older one off. Yes, I cried the hardest when it was Kindergarten. But I cried every year since, too. They look so small walking away. They're leaving me after two months of being my daily companion. I am entrusting all of my most important being - emotional, physical, mental, social and academic - to someone else. For eight hours. So I cry. The Kindergarten send off is even worse. The longest they have been away from me. The largest set of routines, rules and expectations they have e

Two more. Ok, maybe three.

These past few weeks, I have been celebrating a lot of anniversaries. Not the good ones. No happy wedding or baptism or home ownership. Nope. Those anniversary dates have passed but those aren't the ones I am talking about. To be honest? I remember very little about Parley's baptism. There are a few fleeting moments I remember. But most of it is foggy. Which isn't fair in and of itself. But then there was the moment I found that the wasband had checked a beer called "Clever Girl" in from his girlfriend's apartment the day before the baptism. As if the knife couldn't go deeper. Surprise. But not remembering that day is probably a post for another time. These anniversaries are of discovering t

How $10 is teaching my kids independence AND cutting down questions by 40%. At least.

Organizing is one of my love languages. Has always been. Now that I am mostly the solo cruise director of three kids, organization is a must. While I tend to keep all of the comings and goings in my head, it is no surprise that my kids do not. My kids, and maybe yours too, tend to function best when they know what is going on when. I tend to function best when I do not need to answer the same question one thousand times. Before Noon. We all function best when kids learn independence and the value of a schedule. To help my kids and I keep it all together, I modified a weekly magnetic dry-erase board and affixed it to our coat closet. It was an under $10 project using a dry-erase magnet board

I like big goals.

And I cannot lie. Both of those things are true. I like big goals. I also cannot lie. Or rather, I don't. I have too much crap to remember on the daily, I can't add trying to remember stuff I made-up. I don't have that type of energy to waste. Here's the thing. When it all went down. Like D.O.W.N. I wanted to run. Take the kids and go. Start over someplace new. Where I wasn't Vanessa who used to be Vanessa and Wasband. Where I wasn't the divorced mom of three. Where I wasn't who I was and could just be who I am. I realized that that wouldn't work. For about a million reasons. One being, it's running away. I don't run away. Even when I probably should. The second being, it just changes the vi


I have a habit of blurting out whatever is happening in my mind. Without regard to whether or not my companions have been privy to my inner monologue. So we can be talking about our favorite movies and I could all of a sudden ask about, say, a prostate exam. (Side note - I ask about it more than you would think. I don't really ever remember if I have one. At this point, the wasband would just hear that start of the question and say - no, you don't. It's 40 and every year. Thrilling to have to introduce that random knowledge gap to someone new.) And the pluck is rarely related to what we were talking about. Not that I wasn't listening. I was. I was also thinking about 5 other things. It's how

Since you've been gone.

This would be therapist homework #2. This lady gets me. She knows how I love a list. It has come to my attention as I clawed my way up from the depths of Hell, that I am better off now than I was then. Not just because many people are better off a year after they discover betrayal and douchecanoe-ery but because I am truly happier. Healthier. It's visible. In my countenance, my behavior, even my aura if I may. This is not to say this is how I wanted things to go. It's not and I am still sad. It is to say that once I knew we were on this ride, I was going to Mary Poppins the hell out of it. So here's where we are. A year later. Then - yoga, quiet time, please don't be loud/annoying/normal kid

Things I miss...

There are lots of upsides to this season of my life. Certainly I've been in it long enough to be used to it. To a degree. But there are things that are simply easier with a partner. Emotionally, financially, logistically. Here is a list in no particular order. 1. Somebody else getting up with KB 1, 2 or 3 in the middle of the night. 2. Eating a meal I did not cook. (I venture my kids would also agree.) 3. Texting someone to bring home milk. Saddling up 3 kids and running that errand together is the pits. 4. Showering like it's not an Olympic speed sport. 5. Talking to an adult about my day as I wind down. 6. Heading to Starbucks without guilt. 7. Heading anywhere ALONE when it isn't on a Dad

Peanut butter, pine cones and birdseed. What can go wrong?

This was another Pinterest idea. Remember the painting of the closet door? If you don't follow me on facebook, you should. I can be funny. Anyway, the closet went ok. Stripes are on and it makes the boys super happy. I am all about allowing for individualization. Especially when a cheap coat of white paint can fix it. That activity took place outside. Clearly. So you might ask why I thought bringing a huge tub of birdseed into the house was a good idea. Mayhap I was flying high from the success of the door. Spoiler alert - the birdseed did not get everywhere. Truth - this project is far more difficult than Pinterest let on. Mom hack/life saver - legos, beads, magic sand and projects all tak

A Letter to him - in parts

Did I send some of this to him? Yes, yes I did. I am not sure why. Some were in response to conversations we were having at the time. Maybe I wanted to speak the hurt with some distance and time. With calm and truth. Not the passion that comes from betrayal and new pain and anger. Maybe I wanted to hurt him by reminding him of how we got here. If I am being honest. But mostly I did it because I have written letters before and they have helped. And also my therapist told me to do so. Therapy, you lot. Get. On. That. But this is in part(s). Because not all things are meant to be public. There are things worth keeping between those directly involved. It's better that way. Ok, fine, and my ten c