HOUSE OF KB

I have always wanted to write. I have, actually, for years. But I don't think the adolescent ramblings of a tween or the documentation tendencies of a young adult count. I've recently reread them. So I can tell you, they don't. Now I need a place to be free. Unfettered. As I figure out this new space and place in my life. Newly single mom. Business owner. Mother. Daughter. Sister. Friend. But no longer wife. Grab a cup, sit on the comfy couch and chat with me.

What do you do?

We call it Corona Confidence.

Living in the gray.

Hi ho. Hi ho. It's off to school they go! I will cry AND dance. And I am not alone.

Tomorrow is the day!! I am sending my two older kids to all day school and I am on a roller coaster ride of emotions because of it. Let's ride it together, shall we? Buckle up. I have cried every year I sent the older one off. Yes, I cried the hardest when it was Kindergarten. But I cried every year since, too. They look so small walking away. They're leaving me after two months of being my daily companion. I am entrusting all of my most important being - emotional, physical,

Two more. Ok, maybe three.

These past few weeks, I have been celebrating a lot of anniversaries. Not the good ones. No happy wedding or baptism or home ownership. Nope. Those anniversary dates have passed but those aren't the ones I am talking about. To be honest? I remember very little about Parley's baptism. There are a few fleeting moments I remember. But most of it is foggy. Which isn't fair in and of itself. But then there was the moment I found that the wasband had checked a beer called "Clever G

Hide and Seek.

No, son, I had no idea you were in my bed. Well done.

How $10 is teaching my kids independence AND cutting down questions by 40%. At least.

Organizing is one of my love languages. Has always been. Now that I am mostly the solo cruise director of three kids, organization is a must. While I tend to keep all of the comings and goings in my head, it is no surprise that my kids do not. My kids, and maybe yours too, tend to function best when they know what is going on when. I tend to function best when I do not need to answer the same question one thousand times. Before Noon. We all function best when kids learn indep

I like big goals.

And I cannot lie. Both of those things are true. I like big goals. I also cannot lie. Or rather, I don't. I have too much crap to remember on the daily, I can't add trying to remember stuff I made-up. I don't have that type of energy to waste. Here's the thing. When it all went down. Like D.O.W.N. I wanted to run. Take the kids and go. Start over someplace new. Where I wasn't Vanessa who used to be Vanessa and Wasband. Where I wasn't the divorced mom of three. Where I wasn't

Plucking!

I have a habit of blurting out whatever is happening in my mind. Without regard to whether or not my companions have been privy to my inner monologue. So we can be talking about our favorite movies and I could all of a sudden ask about, say, a prostate exam. (Side note - I ask about it more than you would think. I don't really ever remember if I have one. At this point, the wasband would just hear that start of the question and say - no, you don't. It's 40 and every year. Thr

Since you've been gone.

This would be therapist homework #2. This lady gets me. She knows how I love a list. It has come to my attention as I clawed my way up from the depths of Hell, that I am better off now than I was then. Not just because many people are better off a year after they discover betrayal and douchecanoe-ery but because I am truly happier. Healthier. It's visible. In my countenance, my behavior, even my aura if I may. This is not to say this is how I wanted things to go. It's not and

Things I miss...

There are lots of upsides to this season of my life. Certainly I've been in it long enough to be used to it. To a degree. But there are things that are simply easier with a partner. Emotionally, financially, logistically. Here is a list in no particular order. 1. Somebody else getting up with KB 1, 2 or 3 in the middle of the night. 2. Eating a meal I did not cook. (I venture my kids would also agree.) 3. Texting someone to bring home milk. Saddling up 3 kids and running that

Peanut butter, pine cones and birdseed. What can go wrong?

This was another Pinterest idea. Remember the painting of the closet door? If you don't follow me on facebook, you should. I can be funny. Anyway, the closet went ok. Stripes are on and it makes the boys super happy. I am all about allowing for individualization. Especially when a cheap coat of white paint can fix it. That activity took place outside. Clearly. So you might ask why I thought bringing a huge tub of birdseed into the house was a good idea. Mayhap I was flying hi

A Letter to him - in parts

Did I send some of this to him? Yes, yes I did. I am not sure why. Some were in response to conversations we were having at the time. Maybe I wanted to speak the hurt with some distance and time. With calm and truth. Not the passion that comes from betrayal and new pain and anger. Maybe I wanted to hurt him by reminding him of how we got here. If I am being honest. But mostly I did it because I have written letters before and they have helped. And also my therapist told me to