When you have upheaval in your life to the extent that I had, it makes you second guess everything. It calls into question your ability to judge character. It impacts your ability to trust. Everyone. Even those who have been nothing but supportive and present and constant.
The super, super crappy question I have been wrestling with this week is - did he ever really love me? Because how in the world can you hurt so deeply someone you profess to love? How can you knowingly destroy someone you said vows to and with whom you built a family? I want to say yes, yes, he did love me. But when I look at the texts and pics sent and received, I think, no, no he couldn't have. Because if you love someone, you just don't hurt them like this. Honestly? I've answered the question both ways and both answers totally suck.
Thanks for coming along on this journey with me. Think that what I am saying is worth sharing? Please do. It'll help a girl out!