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Swiper.

Since the adult males I know wipe their own asses I am assuming I won't have to wipe Tristan's forever. But we have been on a GI journey for almost 7 years and, finally, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

As I was tending to Tristan today he said "Momma, that was a one wiper, two swiper."  And that my friends is when you encounter your brain walking outside of your body.